Too young to know-
That's what I hear in the background, while Hudson places his Carhartt jeans in our duffle. It hits me that I'm 21. And my '97 green Subaru carries me across the North, through the west, and down south- one discreet adventure at a time. It's Thanksgiving again and were packing for the ski season. I think the 700$ in my bank account will slowly decrease as the weather gets colder and the days get unfortunately shorter. I guess that it can only be winter's dreary wakeup call. It hits harder than it should.
The trees were shivering too. Harvesting the last warm light they will see for awhile. Everyone knows Missoula winters are nothing but a dreary incandescent haze looming over the gigantic M and the Clark Fork.
I'm increasingly becoming more depressed about the idea of moving forward and growing up. I've realized that Hudson and I are at a crossroads of growing out of old habits; engulfed in this idea of living free and simple. We bought a van that when springtime comes, we'll be living, breathing, and sleeping out of this new adventure toy. Till then, were safe and warm and comfortable, living our jobs from 9-5, or something like that.
Spending more of my days working from home on my parents “mini” ranch. Every day I open the barn doors, it reminds me of the freshly stained wood and the sawdust aroma surrounding my dad's workspace. It’s bringing me back to my days living by the hot springs in Challis, ID— Running up and down the tall ladder in the barn while trying to stay away from the mean hot-headed rooster we had. Watching our horse Scout steal my dad’s Coke bottle, drinking the whole thing, and laughing hysterically at the pictures we got after it all. And trying to figure out where to hang the next set of antlers we found. I couldn’t have a bigger smile on my face. It’s come full circle.
But as of now, I have found my peace at my parent's farm in Hamilton, MT. Horses, chickens, cows, and a lot of wood choppin'. Making leather goods, and making dirty coffee that will last me throughout the day. Too many good light opportunities that I can't pass up. After all, I am 21 and have no idea what the hell to do-